Day 6: First Fail and Overcompensating
What a weekend. It was a lot of socializing, so I was pretty wiped out, but I got to see some people I love and whom I haven't seen for a while, so that was really nice. However, the caveat to the highly social Saturday was that I did not have any time to sit down and apply to a job that day. I suspected that was going to happen, and I chose not to be too hard on myself and to accept it and try to get back to my goals the next day. Life is busy, and the important thing is not to worry and chastise yourself over your perceived failures, but to focus on moving forward, creating good habits for yourself, and keep trying.
Sunday was much better. I felt very accomplished. I took time to apply to jobs then - I applied to three of them to make up for missing the day before - and, even though I got to it later than I had originally intended, I managed to deconstruct my dad's kitchen cupboards and reorganize them and clear out some clutter with the help of my wonderful, supportive, patient boyfriend. Dad wasn't thrilled that a lot of things were in new places, but I was incredibly relieved to have everything collected, sorted, and put in a better place that will help me use the kitchen more efficiently when I'm cooking in there in the future.
Today has been more of a challenge. I'm running on between 5 and 6 hours of sleep, and while I'm caffeinated now and feeling a little more focused than I was this morning, I'm stressed out that I'm not being as productive as I feel like I should be. That said, I'm trying to go easy on myself. Hard days happen, but if you stop and appreciate the little things, you can stop yourself from spiraling too far into the negativity.
I also took a step to minimize my anxiety about grocery shopping today. The store by my house is always busy, and it's such a huge store, I always have trouble finding things and it takes me almost twice as long to finish my shopping than it used to at the store I used to live near. So today, I shopped online and requested a grocery pick-up so I don't have to wander around the store looking for things. It took a long time because I didn't have much of a list to go off of (very unlike me), but it was way less stressful than dealing with the crazy parking lot, the massive store that feels like a maze and has way too many options for everything you could possibly purchase, and the stimulation of all the people and sounds and colors of such a big, bustling environment. The only negative thing was I overspent my budget by about $30. It could be worse. It's not like I don't have that $30, I just diminished one of my budgets for something else. It'll be okay. I'll figure it out. I always do.
Day 3
Positive self talk (me to me) : I didn't do a good job with this goal on day 3. For one thing, I was incredibly anxious about shopping for a housewarming present and I ended up walking out of Target after about 10 or 15 minutes because I was so overstimulated, I couldn't stay there. I also was very much in my own head trying to cross tasks off my to-do list and I wasn't very present when I was spending time with my boyfriend. I've had worse days, but this day was just a long, stressful one and I didn't take the time to think and find anything that I could feel positive about myself for. That said, I still took the time to apply to a job, and I didn't get too frustrated with the process or with myself, even though it took longer than I had expected, and that's something.
Jobs applied to: Marketing Specialist at a local outdoor NPO
Day 4
Positive self talk (me to me) : Even though you were running late, you were very patient to wait with your boyfriend without making a big deal about it and you did a good job keeping yourself calm.
Jobs applied to: None
Day 5
Positive self talk (me to me) :
Jobs applied to:
Day 6
Positive self talk (me to me) :
Jobs applied to: None yet, but the day isn't over.
Sunday was much better. I felt very accomplished. I took time to apply to jobs then - I applied to three of them to make up for missing the day before - and, even though I got to it later than I had originally intended, I managed to deconstruct my dad's kitchen cupboards and reorganize them and clear out some clutter with the help of my wonderful, supportive, patient boyfriend. Dad wasn't thrilled that a lot of things were in new places, but I was incredibly relieved to have everything collected, sorted, and put in a better place that will help me use the kitchen more efficiently when I'm cooking in there in the future.
Today has been more of a challenge. I'm running on between 5 and 6 hours of sleep, and while I'm caffeinated now and feeling a little more focused than I was this morning, I'm stressed out that I'm not being as productive as I feel like I should be. That said, I'm trying to go easy on myself. Hard days happen, but if you stop and appreciate the little things, you can stop yourself from spiraling too far into the negativity.
I also took a step to minimize my anxiety about grocery shopping today. The store by my house is always busy, and it's such a huge store, I always have trouble finding things and it takes me almost twice as long to finish my shopping than it used to at the store I used to live near. So today, I shopped online and requested a grocery pick-up so I don't have to wander around the store looking for things. It took a long time because I didn't have much of a list to go off of (very unlike me), but it was way less stressful than dealing with the crazy parking lot, the massive store that feels like a maze and has way too many options for everything you could possibly purchase, and the stimulation of all the people and sounds and colors of such a big, bustling environment. The only negative thing was I overspent my budget by about $30. It could be worse. It's not like I don't have that $30, I just diminished one of my budgets for something else. It'll be okay. I'll figure it out. I always do.
Day 3
Positive self talk (me to me) : I didn't do a good job with this goal on day 3. For one thing, I was incredibly anxious about shopping for a housewarming present and I ended up walking out of Target after about 10 or 15 minutes because I was so overstimulated, I couldn't stay there. I also was very much in my own head trying to cross tasks off my to-do list and I wasn't very present when I was spending time with my boyfriend. I've had worse days, but this day was just a long, stressful one and I didn't take the time to think and find anything that I could feel positive about myself for. That said, I still took the time to apply to a job, and I didn't get too frustrated with the process or with myself, even though it took longer than I had expected, and that's something.
Jobs applied to: Marketing Specialist at a local outdoor NPO
Day 4
Positive self talk (me to me) : Even though you were running late, you were very patient to wait with your boyfriend without making a big deal about it and you did a good job keeping yourself calm.
Jobs applied to: None
Day 5
Positive self talk (me to me) :
Jobs applied to:
- Email Strategist at an email marketing agency (already got the rejection on this one today)
- Content Writer at an email marketing company
- Content Marketing Writer at a language and content management tech/services company
Day 6
Positive self talk (me to me) :
- Your hair looks really nice today.
- It's okay if you can't remember everything. Nobody expects you to be able to remember everything. You're not superhuman, and stress makes your short-term memory hazy, so it's not your fault, and even if it was, you're doing fine.
- You did a good job allowing yourself to enjoy your latte instead of getting bogged down in the frustrations of the morning and even the trip to the cafe itself. Sometimes those baby steps are all you can take on a rough day, and that's okay.
Jobs applied to: None yet, but the day isn't over.
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